Hermione's Reasons
by she-who-can't-be-named-online
Summary: There are 13 reasons why Hermione Granger killed herself. Being a Mudblood, having rumours spread about her and getting caught up in a murder are three of those reasons. You, Ron Weasley, are another one. There is so much you don't know about Miss Granger.
1. The Day After Yesterday

**Summary: There are 13 reasons why Hermione Granger killed herself. Being a Mudblood, having rumours spread about her and being caught up in a murder are three of those reasons. You, Ron Weasley, are another one. There is so much we don't know about Miss Granger.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Idea based on Jay Asher's Thirteen Reasons Why.**

**A/N- I'm sorry for not uploading my other stories, I haven't been able to log in. I promise to upload more frequently from now. :)**

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><p>I felt sick.<p>

There was a small layer of sweat clinging to my brow as I climbed the stairs to the owlery. Though it  
>was high up enough that there was a cool breeze I couldn't get rid of the clamminess about me.<p>

I sank down onto the steps and rested my head against the cold stone wall. The recent discoveries I had made about a girl I thought I knew had left my head spinning and though I would never admit it, close to tears.

She was one of my best friends for Merlin's sake! How could I have not realised she was falling? Looking back, yeah she had shown signs, but being the insensitive jerk I am, I just over looked them. Well done Weasley. You might have been her only chance. If I had been her only hope, then yes, I truly deserved to be on her list of people to blame for her death.

Could I, Ron Weasley, have saved her?

Could we all have?

Taking a few deep breaths I stood up with as much dignity as I could muster, wiped away the moisture that had gathered in my eyes and continued my way up the stairs. The owlery was empty so I made my way over to the first of the school's owls I could find. It didn't matter whether I used my own owl or the school's, the receiver of my package would still find out I sent the package. Just like I had found out who had sent the package to me: the person on the list before my name.

I hastily tied the nameless package with no return address and left the owlery without bothering to watch the owls disappear. Maybe I should have stayed. It wasn't as If I wanted to watch them go, in all truth I was glad to be rid of the package, now that it's weight was on someone else's shoulders, but maybe to watch the owls fly away could have been my own personal tribute to her. Maybe I could have stayed there until the owls were a tiny speck or maybe I would skip breakfast and just stand in the tower and think, gazing at the rising sun.

Oh well, I couldn't do anything about it now I was already down the steps and sprinting in order to get down to breakfast before everyone else started arriving.

Once inside the hall, I grabbed a seat next to Harry and glanced wistfully at the empty seat opposite us. The one that used to be occupied by our other partner in crime, well, more so the one who used to rein us in. I shook my head to clear my thoughts and started loading my plate.

The Great Hall was full by the time the Owls entered with the morning mail. I knew there would be 8 pairs of eyes all scanning the hall to see if Ron Weasley hadn't broken the chain and had sent the package on to the next unfortunate victim in this twisted guilt game.

They were not disappointed.

At the exact moment that an owl landed in front of Harry and I, a bunch of owls crashed down on the other side of the hall. People looked towards the commotion, I looked down. The owl before me had a newspaper tied around it's leg; the daily prophet. We still hadn't cancelled the subscription she had held. I paid the owl two sickles and glanced back over to where my target was now staring blankly at the package, choosing not to open it.

Smart.

Not like me, I had barely avoided Harry's questions as I sprinted out of the hall. Well, there you go Hermione; I've passed your message on.

I've done my job.

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><p><strong>First chapter done :) I hope you liked it. Please read and review.<strong>

**xx She-who-can't-be-named-online**


	2. Cassette 1: Side A

**Hey all :) Sorry it's been so long! Thanks to my lovely Beta Daniel!**  
><strong>Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Thirteen Reasons Why or Harry Potter.<strong>

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><p>I still remember the day she died very clearly. It all started off normally. Harry and I had Divination and Hermione was off doing Ancient Runes. We never saw her before lunch; she always left to go to the library at some ungodly hour, well before Harry or I were up. The last time I saw her was the night before. She seemed fine, like there was nothing wrong with her. She didn't let anyone in to help. Looking back, there was always a barrier up between us, though I never realised 'till now. All three of us were lounging around in the common room, Harry and I playing wizard chess, Hermione studying. It seems funny that she'd spend her last night studying. If it was me, I would have been up and about, making the most of my final hours. I guess that's not how Hermione saw it. Maybe she was keeping the facade up so we wouldn't get suspicious. So we wouldn't try and stop her. So we wouldn't get to say our goodbye. She would have known we'd find out eventually. Of course she would have. But by then – by now – it's too late.<p>

It's been two weeks. Things have continued on almost the same as they always do, like when Cedric died. Life keeps going, people move on. I'm not sure if I want to. It doesn't feel like she's gone yet. It's more like when she was petrified – it still feels like she's here somehow. Everything's been hushed up. Dumbledore addressed the whole school. He went on about how bright she was, how loyal. It didn't matter. It won't bring her back.

"Hey Ron, are you feeling alright?" Harry nudges me from my thoughts. His face swims before my unfocused gaze. I shake my head clear. I force a smile, if Hermione could do it, so can I.

"Yeah I'm – hey, what's up with Malfoy?" Harry swats away my pointing finger but turns to face the other end of the corridor where Malfoy is standing alone. He looks out of place without Crabbe and Goyle. Something's different, but I can't quite put my finger on it. As if Malfoy can feel our eyes on him, he looks up. The usual smirk isn't there. He sort of grimaces and looks away. Weird. I shrug. There's no real reason to be worrying about Malfoy now. He's the smallest of the troubles on my mind at the moment.

"Come on, let's go." With one last glance at Malfoy, I keep walking. The smell from the great hall is making my stomach rumble; though the thought of eating makes me feel sick.

"Won-Won!" I don't need to look behind me to know who that is. It's her. Lavender. I can't get rid of her. She's suffocating me. Now that Hermione's gone, she reckons she can take her place. She thinks she has more of my attention now. I don't bother about Harry, I just run.

By the time I actually make it to the Great Hall I am out of breath and questioning what it was that ever convinced me to date Lavender Brown. Right, to make Hermione jealous. God, I am so stupid. I spot Harry at the Gryffindor table and he waves me over. I collapse into the empty space next to him.

"What happened to you?" I ask whilst inspecting the food. I think I might risk a piece of toast. I watch Harry out the corner of my eye. He seems relieved for a chance to come up with a reply, an excuse. I smirk at him, and then turn around to speak to Hermione. An empty space stares back at me. My brief carefree moment bursts. What had she done to deserve this? Hermione was brilliant, she really was. But there she was being treated with the same respect, as people would show to some sort of feral animal. Nothing she did could change their minds. She was always below them. How could I not have seen how much that affected her?

A large tawny owl crashes into my table, interrupting my thoughts again. It skids right pasts me, balls over the pumpkin juice and comes to rest in front of Harry. The package it was holding goes flying. We both grab for the parcel. I rip open the lid. Inside there's another box and a piece of paper. A note, maybe? From a secret admirer? This isn't something for Harry's eyes.

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><p>Merlin what an idiot I was. I was out of that hall as quick as possible, ignoring the questions that Harry shouted at my back. Maybe if I'd been paying attention back then I would have seen seven blank faces turn and watch me leave.<p>

From there I ran through the castle, not stopping till I reached the Gryffindor common room, then I collapsed in front of the fat lady. Everyone was still at breakfast, so I didn't have to worry about someone noticing me or my package. The fat lady had gazed at me from her portrait, perplexed.

"What have you go-" I couldn't let her finish. If you got her talking she'd never stop.

"Puffinskins," She blinked at me, insulted by my retort. But swung forward anyway, eyes never leaving the package under my arm.

I had raced up to my dorm then dropped the contents on my bed. I don't know what I had been expecting, but it wasn't what I found. I recognised the dusty square machine. I had once seen dad tinkering with one. I couldn't remember what it was called. I then took out the parchment I'd seen at breakfast. It wasn't the letter I had been expecting. Instead there were 13 names written upon it. I recognised most of the names. I couldn't work out why those names had been written down though. At the time, there didn't seem to be any links between them. I can't really blame myself, why would a Slytherin be written down next to a Gryffindor, or a Muggle-born for that matter?

After I gave up trying to make sense of the names, it didn't take long for me to, I flipped the paper over. On the back there was a set of instructions – how to work a cassette player. I can't believe I wasn't more suspicious; Muggle objects don't work inside Hogwarts. Only Dumbledore can use them. I didn't think about that at the time. I didn't consider how Hermione might have to gain permission from him. I was eager to find out what was on the tapes. All I had to do was press the open button and insert the first tape. Easy. If I could use a time turner, would I tell myself not to press play?

I don't think I would. I'm glad that I know the truth. But this will stay with me for the rest of my life, and I'm not sure how to live with that.

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><p><em><strong>Hello to all you witches and wizards; pure-bloods, half-bloods and, last but not least, Mudbloods. Hermione Granger here.<strong>_

That's impossible, I don't believe it.

_**Live and in stereo. For all you who don't know what I mean, it's a Muggle term and probably below you. **_

What? How can she be talking? Hermione's dead. She killed herself. She wouldn't have come back as a ghost. She would have gone on.

_**A Muggle term, used by a girl from a Muggle town, who went to a Muggle school. But she's not a Muggle, is she? No. She's different, right? Now she goes to a school for magic. She learns spells and how to brew potions. She could tell you all the properties of Acromantula venom if you asked. She's special. **_

_**Wrong. **_

_**In most of your eyes she is exactly the same as a Muggle. She is just as stupid, just as dirty. She doesn't belong in the wizarding world. She has no place here. Well, for all you who think that, don't worry. I've kept a special place for you and your Muggle prejudice on these tapes.**_

_**Firstly, I hope you're ready, because I'm about to tell you the story of my life. More specifically, why my life ended. And if you're listening to these tapes, you're one of the reasons why.**_

I let my eyes slip shut for a second. How can I be on this list? I'm not some Slytherin git. I haven't done anything wrong. Especially not to her.

_**Secondly, I'm not going to tell you which of these tapes brings you into the story. But fear not. If you received this lovely little box, your name will pop up, I promise.**_

_**Don't believe me? Want to try my patience? Fine, go on then, I'll make the unbreakable vow. Anyone know the spell? **_

_**Yes. **_

_**Hermione knows! We can ask her. Hermione knows everything.  
><strong>_

_**But she's dead, isn't she?**_

Hermione stops talking. I strain my ears but there is nothing but static. Then she takes a breath.

_**Pity.**_

Her voice shakes slightly.

_**You'll just have to trust me, won't you? But don't worry. Why would a dead girl lie? **_

_**Hey! That sounds like a joke. Why would a dead girl lie? The answer ladies and gentlemen: Because she can't stand up.**_

_**Go ahead. Laugh. **_

I don't. My throat has gone dry. I wouldn't have been able to if I tried.

_**Oh well, I thought it was funny. **_

_**The rules are pretty simple – there are only two. Number one: you listen. Number two: You pass it on. Hopefully neither one will be easy for you.**_

What is this? Some twisted suicide note? Hermione Granger recorded a heap of tapes before she died. Why? This isn't the Hermione I knew.

_**Once you have finished listening to all thirteen sides – because, at risk of sounding once again like a Muggle, there are thirteen sides to every story –rewind the tapes. That's written on the piece of parchment for all you who don't know how. Put them back in the box and pass them on to whoever follows your little tale. And you, lucky number thirteen. You can take these tapes straight to hell. Depending on your opinions of me, maybe I'll see you there.**_

What happened to you, Hermione? What went wrong?

_**In case you are tempted to break these rules, take a moment to understand just whose rules you are breaking. I have set up a number of charms and left numerous traces of these tapes. My reasons, along will all your secrets will be released in a very public manner if this package does not make its way through all of you.**_

_**This was not a spur of the moment decision.**_

_**Do not take me and my background for granted… again.**_

How could you think that? I would never take you for granted. Surely you knew that. Neither Harry nor I ever took you for granted. That's not something we would do. You must know that.

So why am I sweating all of a sudden?

_**You are being watched.**_

A shiver runs up my spine. I blindly press pause. I can't see anything but my hand shaking on the button. There's nothing but the echoing ring of static in my ears.

I think I might throw up. My stomach is clenching in on itself, ready to empty up the little breakfast I managed to eat.

Merlin, Weasley. Calm down. Some Gryffindor you are. There must be a mistake. Maybe this is some sort of sick joke. Hermione wouldn't do this. Not the one I knew. This is stupid. Of course I knew the real Hermione! I was her best friend for what, five years? Not once have I called her a you-know-what or taken her for granted. This is all just a joke. Some stupid, sick, joke. I bet Malfoy's behind it.

But there is one small thought nagging at the back of my mind; how well did I really know Hermione?

_How well did any of us?_

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><p><strong>Thank you so much for reading!<strong>


	3. Cassette 1: Side A Victor's Story

**Hello all :)**

**Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing. Thank you to my Beta Daniel.**

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><p><span>Cassette 1 Side A Continued: Victor's Story<span>

I check the package's wrapping again. There's got to be a name somewhere. I must have just overlooked it. Hermione's suicide tapes are being passed around, but they're not meant for me. Someone has made a copy. They sent them to me because I was Hermione's friend. This is all just a joke. When I walk down to the great hall to get lunch later – if I can eat it – someone will laugh at me. A few people know about my about dad's obsession with Muggle things. That's why they've sent the tapes to me, to be ironic. Whoever it is will smirk at me, then look away and carry on eating. That's how I'll know. I'll probably go red but that's not hard, seeing as I'm a Weasley. Harry might tease me about my embarrassment, but he won't know what's actually going on.

But what if he asks? What do I say? And what am I meant to do then anyway? When I know I'm not on the list, but that there still is a list and Hermione's voice is still being passed around? What then?

I don't know what I'll do.

_**I almost forgot. If you're on the list, you should have received a map. **_

There's no denying it then.

I'm on the list.

I found a map under my pillow a few weeks back. I was going to show it to Harry or Hermione but I forgot. On the outside it warns me to keep it in a safe place. It's the same writing that the list of 6 names is written in. Now that I look closer I realise it's Hermione's. I can't believe I didn't notice before.

_**I'm not sure how many of you have heard of the Marauders. They were quite infamous in their time. Well anyway, I got my inspiration from them. These maps show Hogwarts and everyone in it.**_

It's just like the original. I can see everyone. Hermione hasn't failed. Once again she's proven how brilliant she is. None of us could have made this like she has.

_**I have also highlighted certain spots I want you to visit. If you use the map well you should be able to get to these places without being seen. Well, that's how I'd want to travel around the castle anyway. Without everybody's eyes following you. It'd be nice, wouldn't it?**_

I can't find the energy to move just yet. The map is just across the room in my trunk. Probably crumpled at the bottom somewhere under the rest of my junk. I don't want to see it; I don't want to think of Hermione making all these maps, right under our noses. It just serves as another reminder of how blind I was.

_**Throughout the tapes, I'll be mentioning different places in our beloved castle that I want you to visit. Of course I can't force you to visit them, it's your own choice, there's no curse making sure you go to them. It's more for your own enjoyment. If you want to find out a little more about me, gain further insight into Hermione's life, then just head for the bold labels. **_

_**Or, if you'd like, just throw the maps away. I guess I'll never know.**_

_**Or maybe I will. Though I've done my research, I'm not exactly sure how this whole 'dead' thing works. **_

I swipe my hands on the bedspread. They've become clammy and moist. Just like I can feel beads of sweat forming on my forehead.

_**Many authors leave it up to assumption. Those of you who have had divination with me should know that I don't like to leave things up to assumption. I guess I'm making a lot of assumptions now. I have no idea what's about to happen to me. Maybe we just disappear once we die. Maybe we find a paradise where we are reunited with everyone else who once lived. **_

_**Or maybe... maybe I'm standing right behind you. **_

_**Right now. **_

_**Watching.**_

I keep my eyes focused ahead. I don't dare chance a look behind me at the open window. Maybe if I look I'll see the Black Lake. Or maybe I'll see Hermione standing there as if she never left.

_**I'm sorry. That wasn't fair. But you should all be used to seeing ghosts by now. There are plenty around Hogwarts. I wouldn't be any different. But knowing what you did. Knowing that you all played a part in my death. Would you be ready to see me?**_

No. Not yet. Or ever.

_**Anyway, I'm getting off track. **_

_**Ready, Mr Krum?**_

Victor Krum. Seeker for the Bulgarian National Quidditch Team. He caught the Golden Snitch during the Quidditch World Cup against Ireland in 1994. He was my idol.

He took Hermione to the Yule Ball.

_**Victor, honey, you were my very first kiss. The very first guy to look at me and actually see something beautiful. At least, I think you did. Maybe I was wrong from the start. It seems funny that you'd go from someone like me. You were an international superstar. A Quidditch player with a bright future. And me? I was the boring girl who hid herself away in the library. But for some odd reason you took an interest in me. There was something about you though that made me want to be with you. I still don't exactly know what it was. Maybe it was because you were constantly surrounded by girls, all fighting for your attention, but you didn't notice any of them. I had never received the attention you showed me. I don't what was but, whatever it was, it was there... and it was amazingly strong. **_

_**I still have your letters tucked away somewhere. And when they go through my belongings, they'll probably toss them away. Or maybe they won't. You are famous, after all. Whatever they do, I know they won't pay attention to the ones I sent you. They were just letters sent by a girl who had a crush that has no relevance whatsoever. But does it?**_

_**For me, yes, it does. I went back as far as you to find an introduction to my story. This is where it all really begins. My forth year. The Triwizard Tournament. Yes, it was only two years ago, but I was so young. Victor, you might only think you play a small role in this; you're probably questioning why you're even on here. You only toyed with a little girl's emotions. But hang around. I hope by the time you reach the end of theses tapes you'll understand your role in all of this. After all, in the end, it all adds up.**_

Alright, so where do I fit in. Is my story next maybe? I did argue with Hermione over Krum. But that wasn't anything major, was it? Or do I come later? How long is she going to make me wait? Am I lucky number thirteen? Am I the one that Hermione said should take these tapes to hell? If so, does that mean these stories are going to get worse from here? What have I done?

Right now I can't think of anything.

_**Betrayal. **_

_**How many of you have experienced it? Well let me tell you, it's one of the worst feelings. It wasn't only you, Victor, who let me down. Most of you did. But I can't really blame you; you probably had no idea what you were even doing. Not many of you knew what affect you were really having. **_

Well I don't. I have no clue what I've done. I'm not sure about everyone else. All I know is that I have been your best friend for the last six years. Maybe I slipped up once, but it was nothing major, I'm sure. And compared to the times I stayed by your side, it's nothing.

Hermione, why would you want to mail out a bunch of suicide tapes? You're dead. Mailing these around isn't going to make everything okay. It's not going to make you feel any better. It's not going to bring you back to life. It's just going to hurt us. But that's probably what you want, isn't it? You want us to listen to your tapes; you want us to hear what you have to say. Well we're going to. None of us are going to stop this chain. We'll keep passing these tapes on, just to make sure that those who aren't on 'the list' don't get them.

_**Hmmm, I think I should get you lot on your feet. I wouldn't want you to be locked away somewhere. I've always found that going for a walk allows me to clear my head. So all of you, take out your maps, find the library, and you should see that a certain table is drawn darker than all the rest. That's where you're heading. **_

I guess I have no choice. I get up and start rummaging through my trunk. It doesn't take me that long to find the map. The writing is painfully familiar. I open the map and focus on where everybody is. Hermione's right, I don't want to be seen.

Most of the students are out around the lake. They have no idea what is happening. They don't need to worry about it. The have no idea that thirteen of us are connected by these tapes. For them, Hermione is dead and gone.

I'm not going to be able to carry these tapes around. I can't have anyone else hear them. The only person I can think of, who would have who would have something I can listen to the tapes without anyone else hearing them is Collin Creevey.

I'll go ask later, once I've finished this tape.

_**There, at that table, was the first time you spoke to me, Victor. You finally managed to find the courage. I pretended like I didn't notice, but I could see you peeking through the bookcases at me for the first few days you spent at Hogwarts. Plus, the giggling girls didn't help the subtlety of the whole thing. **_

They were such a pain.

_**I'd never had much experience with guys, so when you approached my table I thought back to the advice my mother had given me; "Be detached, don't come on to strong, play hard to get". So that's what I did. You didn't say much and, despite my vow to seem somewhat uninterested, I found myself doing most of the talking. You asked me to explain a concept from a book I was reading. I can't really remember what it was, but I remember how you hung off my every word. It made me feel incredible. I was aware of you playing with my fingers. My face was probably bright red, though I pretended like it didn't bother me. Then you thanked me and walked out of the library, your fans swarming behind you, leaving little old me flustered in the corner. **_

He is way to famous for his own good. He is nothing like what I thought he'd be. I don't know what Hermione saw in him. Actually, I don't know what any of the girls saw in him.

_**Over the duration of the Triwizard Tournament you would come visit me in the library. You would ask about the book I was reading and as I'd explain you'd play with my fingers. Until one day you stood up suddenly, bringing me up with you and, with our hands still entangled, you lead me deeper into the library. **_

Wow, Hermione. You didn't, did you?

_**I've always been the nerd. But there was a slight tarnish to that reputation. I know most of you didn't know what to believe. But some of you thought you had me all figured out. Didn't you? I know what you're all thinking. Hermione Granger, the girl who poses as a bookworm is a slag.**_

_**What? Didn't you catch that? I said, Hermione Granger is. **_

_**Can't say that anymore.**_

I can't hear anything. She's stopped talking. There's nothing but the crackle of static. I lean closer to the cassette player and drag the blankets up and around me. The two spindles in the tape deck keep spinning, pulling the tape from one side to the other, but I can't hear Hermione's voice.

Where was she when she recorded these? Was she sitting, like I am now, in her dormitory? I still can't hear anything. What is she thinking? I let my eyelids fall shut. Are hers closed like mine? Is she crying? I brush away a tear of my own that has escaped. Is this it? Does she stop here? Is her finger on the stop button, trying to find the strength to push it?

_**Wrong.**_

She's angry. Her voice is trembling and her breathing is uneven. I think she is crying.

_**All of you. You were all wrong. Hermione Granger is not, and never was, a slag. Which begs the question, what have you heard?**_

Hermione let Victor Krum put his hands up her shirt. That's one of the stories I heard. Others where much worse. I never really believed the rumours. They didn't match the Hermione I knew.

_**It was one simple kiss. Nothing more. I liked a boy, he liked me and we shared a kiss. Nothing more. That's the whole story. Right there. There is nothing more to it. **_

But there was always a little doubt in my mind. After all, everyone seemed to know about it. Plus I know loads of other girls who would have let Krum do it.

_**You lead me to the back of the library. It was squishy but at least I didn't have to worry about Madam stumbling upon us. I was so anxious about what kissing you would be like. Though I couldn't participate, I had been involved in conversations about kisses. To me, some sounded so horrible. But ours was nice. It was simple. You didn't push me any further than that. You didn't try to touch me. You just held our lips together and for that I was grateful. **_

It sounds much better than my first kiss. Lavender isn't exactly gentle. I don't really remember how it started. All I know is that I had argued with Hermione that day, then we were all celebrating Gryffindor's win and suddenly there lavender was. Once I kissed her she wouldn't let go.

_**There it is folks. The whole story. You don't need to rewind. You didn't miss anything. Maybe I should repeat myself for those who still haven't got the message. That... was... all… that... happened.**_

_**Why, did you hear something else?**_

I rub the back of my neck. It's damp, and the hairs on my arms are raised. I fight back a shiver.

_Yes._

_**I know you all did. Because I did too. I heard the rumours that followed me from time to time. So are you disappointed to hear that I – I don't know. That I didn't take off his shirt? That the kiss didn't lead to something else? That's what happened in your stories, didn't it. I've heard so many. All except one. **_

_**The truth. **_

Once, I would have liked to know that truth about Hermione's death. Now I'm not so sure.

_**The truth isn't so popular, is it? It's not very exciting. Maybe that's why you all felt the need to change what really happened. My side of the story wasn't interesting enough. Well, from now on, the truth is something you aren't going to forget. I'll make sure of that. I'm going to tell it like it is. It's time you heard my side of the story. You're not going to forget me. Or my story. Especially not the part you played in it. **_

_**Victor, the kiss we shared was lovely, so were the ones that followed, and the letters we exchanged. But then something changed, didn't it? I'm not sure if it was the press that got to you or if you came up with the rumours all on your own. Though I doubt you could have managed it. Well, anyway, you started bragging and I had no idea. After the Daily Prophet had published a story about me, I stopped reading it. But that one was about Harry and I. I never read about you and me. I never knew the stories that were floating around and nobody ever told them to my face. But, of course, I found out eventually. Eventually, the rumours, as they always do, reached me. Everybody knows you can't disprove a rumour and, for me, with your fame, it was even harder. **_

These stories have got to be really bad. That's how Hermione knows that we'd keep them moving from person to person. We're doing it out of fear. But why am I listening to this? What is the point of putting myself through this? I could just take the tape out and hide the box somewhere or throw it in the Black Lake. Hermione said there was no curse put on them, so I don't have to worry about that. So what's stopping me?

My throat's become incredibly dry. My lips are trembling and I can feel moisture pooling in my eyes.

I'm not going to stop listening to these tapes. Of course I'm not. It's Hermione's voice. She's speaking to me. Even if it's to accuse me of her death, she's still talking. I can still hear her. It's a voice I thought I'd never hear her again. I'm not about to give that up.

_**It wasn't the rumours that are making me do what I'm about to do. Or, for all you listening, made me do what I did. I'm stronger than that. Those rumours ruined a memory that ought to be special. After all, how many times does a girl experience her first kiss? It also left a black spot on my reputation. It gave me a new one. It gave others the permission to treat me differently. To treat me more like dirt than they ever had. **_

Though I tried not to show it, it made me think differently about Hermione. I wasn't sure where I stood with her any more. I never approached the subject with her though. I didn't know how to. Maybe she would have liked to speak about it. I would've if I'd been in that situation.

_**It was a rumour, based on a simple kiss, that had a snowball effect. It was only the beginning. Maybe without it, none of this would be happening. None of you would be listening to me right now. You'd all be carrying on with your lives. **_

_**So would I. **_

_**Turn over the tape for my next story. If you have trouble with that you can refer back to my instructions. I wouldn't expect you to understand simple Muggle technology. **_

_**Like you wouldn't expect me to understand your wizarding ways. Right?**_

I expect her to keep talking. But she doesn't. Once again there is only static. Then the tape clicks. It's finished.

I've made it through the first tape. I'm not sure if I want to go on listening to Hermione. I don't want to know what I let her go through. But then I'm forgetting the rules. The second set of tapes that I don't even know exist. Hermione said she made a copy.

But what if she didn't? These tapes could stop here right with me. That's it. It's all over then. We all continue on with our lives. No one finds out a thing. Nothing happens.

But what if she did? What if there is someone waiting in the wings, ready to release the second set of tapes? Then everybody hears them.

_That's not a gamble I'm willing to make.  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you all for reading :) I'm hoping to update more often now.<strong>

**Jane xx  
><strong>


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